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Entry tags:
☞ like nobody's won and we're safe at the end.
who jack + isaac
what now with 70% more fourth-walling
rating pg-13
warnings video game trauma.
[ It's a new thing every day, Isaac finds as he walks past the television. Gaming systems have come along way (at least what he's seen), but ultimately, it's all the same. He glances around the apartment briefly, a slight prickle of paranoia riding the rise of his spine. These definitely weren't there before, but then again--the television didn't plug in, the goddamn house ran off of embarrassment, and well. Just well. Leaning down, Isaac grabs the controller and sees the pair of cases that are laid out next to it on the low coffee table.
Haha. No.
You can't be. This is not serious. This isn't even real life right now.
Isaac picks up the top one and hums, popping in the disk. Oh hey. There's the remote (where the fuck were you when we needed you the most, asshole?) Slumping down on the couch with the controller in both hands, he passes through the introduction without much of a qualm aside from the fact that he ends up tilting his head a bit. Oh hey, Jack--Great things. Definitely great things. Except then the plane's going down and Isaac is cocked forward in his seat, clearly concerned that they just went down in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
The game is pretty interesting (not every day you get to play as someone you know).
"Now, would you kindly find a crowbar or something?" the game says.
There are those words. ]
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[ Okay. Okay. You're okay. Everything's okay. His hands are shaking, but things are okay and his breath is canting and his heart isn't even slowing down until he's sat there for some time, his hands in Jack's. The trembling doesn't quite stop until he's taken a number of deep breaths, until he's told himself that it's over...
The nightmare is over...
But he stumbles.
But it will not end.
He shakes his head.
It's over.
It will be over...
He looks to the screen and then back to Jack. Swallows tightly because his throat is so goddamn closed up... goddamn tight. Another breath-- ]
Go on... Make it right...
[ He knows you can do it... ]
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He pulls away and picks the controller back up, taking several deep breaths himself before diving back in.
This time, though he struggles, he does it. Without heinous death.
He lets out a long, slow breath.
Right. They've got to be close to the end, right?
God this is intense.]
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Almost. They're almost through this.
It goes by in a series of events that leaves Isaac, in the end, a shaking mess.
He leaves with this information of his, this Marker code in his brain exposed like an open flower to the sun and he goes at him across the yawning gap between the main medical pavilion and the Marker. Tiedmann is already there, at the ready with a javelin gun that he wastes no time launching at Isaac. The first embeds itself right into his shoulder, spearing him straight through. His hand goes right to where it would be now on his body, where a scar rests nicely there--enter wound, exit wound. He remembers tearing it out, seeing the next go through his hand, straight through as well. But he takes it out, just like a trooper, because goddamn it, he's got bigger fish to fry and Tiedmann goes down when he tries to fire the third and final one. It goes straight through his throat.
Jack doesn't wait for the cue, it seems, already aiming and blowing off Tiedmann's head with the plasmacutter.
Good man.
And then there's Nicole, shining bright, and for a moment, Isaac's heart stops because he remembers. Warm hands on his head and the feeling of her fingers (real) in his hair and he could, for a minute think she's still alive until she croons softly that it's "time to die" and he's taken far, far away, too far, a fight for his mind.
Jack executes it... rather well, using everything he's got until Nicole screams and the nightmare... it's over... and Isaac is left in the crumbling Titan Station where he turns around, wonders just where he is. Isaac knows, that feeling of despair that overtakes him. But also, there's that Acceptance. Acceptance for death. He did something good, the Marker? It's gone and here he is. Gone too. He remembers and his breath comes hard as if he's run miles and miles. Isaac in the game sits down, just as he remembers, sits with his knees up and his hand on his face and his eyes wet.
But Ellie, well... Ellie from before? Ellie on the gunship?
Good. Old. Reliable. Spunky. Ellie. There she is, contacting his RIG, bursting through the ceiling and forcing himself to hurtle up towards her with more determination than ever. He can live, oh god he can live and as he watches this it's like living through all of it again and...
It's over.
He's gone and looked at Ellie and she's the same and it's over. It's dark.
Isaac turns a bit, glances at Jack. And it's just Jack. Exactly Jack.
He hesitates as the game shuts off. Tries to make a sound. A good job. A "hah, well that's that" but it's not coming out. Just a choked sound. Help... fuck, help... ]
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It's over. Thank god or whatever that it's over. The screen goes dark and Jack looks over at Isaac and Isaac's staring at him, making that sound and Jack practically throws the controller down, leaning forward and pulling Isaac into his arms, holding him tightly, so tightly, like he's never going to let go.]
It's okay. It's over. You're here, it's safe, it's over.
[He doesn't know what to say other than that, so he repeats it in Isaac's ear, trying to be for Isaac what Isaac was for him yesterday.]
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The nightmare is over
But it will not end.
The sickness is the cure
The cure is the sickness.
The words are there and they rest, they won't give up. The Marker's code isn't gone, it's just repurposed. Destroy instead of make. He may be. Sniffling a bit. Just to ward away the tears that are hot and aching just around his eyes. This is good. No. This hugging is good. The tightness of it. ]
Yeah...
Yeah, it's over.
[ "We're not playing that third game." ]
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For now Jack just holds Isaac, ready to hold him as long as he needs him to, understanding more about him than he ever did and ever possibly could without it.
They're both so broken.
So broken and it hurts so much and they try to pretend it's not a big deal, it doesn't hurt as much as it does, but it's always there. Sometimes it's less noticeable only because they've gotten used to it, but it always hurts.
Always.
Jack understands. He understands too well. He holds Isaac so tightly, one hand to the back of his head in an echoed reversal of the day before.]
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We're pretty fucked up aren't we?
[ It's said into his shoulder, a heave of words as he laughs just a little, chokes on his breath. He'll just press his face a bit more into Jack. Everything can be black for now. It can hurt because all he needs is a steady heartbeat. That's it. ]
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[You play the hand that's dealt to you, and Jack and Isaac were dealt really shitty hands.
Jack squeezes his eyes shut at the sound of Isaac's voice, that hollow laughter.]
We'll be fine, though.
[He says it, though his voice cracks a little. He says it but he has to convince himself it's true. They'll be fine. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. They'll be fine.
Right?
They have to be.]
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[ He pats Jack's shoulder slowly, hard, firm. Whatever's out there, please. We have to be okay.
He'll lift his head eventually, eyes kind of tired-looking. Isaac glances at the clock and while yeah, it's a little too early to turn in, he already is exhausted for some reason. It's barely a murmur. ]
You're tired. Probably. Go get some rest.
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And when Isaac mentions it, he really feels tired, though he's still concerned about Isaac.
He nods, then puts a hand on Isaac's shoulder.]
What about you?
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[ He hesitates, but puts a hand over the one on his shoulder. ]
I think I can tonight.
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And if it turns out otherwise then Jack's just in the next room, right?
He stands and goes to the bedroom.]