orifice | using the stars as guides

Entry tags:

using the stars as guides

who jack + isaac
what insomnia and... going places...
rating probably no more than PG
warnings Whale Noises? Feels? Adorables? Men questioning their sanity?

[It's late.

Jack lies awake next to Isaac, looking at him in the darkness, wishing he could sleep.

Not too long ago, he could. He was sleeping just fine, hardly any dreams or anything. Just a nice long night of refreshing slumber.

But ever since he woke up with scars on his neck and his vocal chords mangled so that the only sounds he can make are inhuman moans... well. He's gone back to square one.

Square one being frequent nightmares and nights of complete sleeplessness.

Tonight he just can't sleep at all. He's tried. He's tried too many times. He's tried with his head on Isaac's chest, listening to his heartbeat and the slow rhythm of his breaths, he's tried with his arms wrapped around him and his face buried in his hair, he's tried lying without touching him at all.

None of it works. Every time he closes his eyes the abyss, echoing with the cacophonous symphony of Rapture, reaches through his mind to grasp his consciousness and he has to shake himself back to reality with a gasp.

There'll be no sleep for him tonight.

So he watches Isaac sleep, the man's face turned toward him so that their noses are a mere centimeter away from each other, his breath tickling Jack's face. Jack reaches up and runs a finger along Isaac's jawline, then turns his head to look out the window. The curtain is open, revealing a cold winter night outside. There's no cloud in the sky, and the stars and moon shine crisply against the black backdrop of sky, the freezing air making the silver shapes sparkle like they never do in summer.

Jack turns his head back to Isaac.

Maybe a walk would help.

But he doesn't want to go alone.

...but he doesn't want to interrupt Isaac's sleep.

He sighs slightly and puts his hand on Isaac's arm, shaking it ever so gently.

Wake up, Isaac.]

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[It takes a long time, but his breaths slow naturally, until he doesn't have to force it. His heart gradually calms to a natural beat, and the whole time he only stands there, his head on Isaac's shoulder, his hands holding on to the front of Isaac's jacket.

It takes a long time, but he's stable again, at least physically.

He lifts his head from Isaac's shoulder but doesn't quite look at him.

He hates being like this. Hates it. But there's nothing he can do.]

[ It's understandable, all of it, though Isaac can't imagine... to lose your voice and have it replaced by... by that. He sighs and keeps his hand gently threaded through his hair. I'm here, I'm here, and I know you hate it, but.. but it's going to be alright.

He can see that far-off look in him, the kind that doesn't address him directly and he draws his hand from Jack's head down his jaw, nudges it slightly. Look up. ]

[Jack's gaze shifts, still not landing completely on Isaac before he lets out a quiet exhale and lifts his gaze to meet Isaac's. It's steady now, his panic having faded, but there's still a certain small degree of emptiness to it, his face sad as he tries not to think about the things that haunt him.

Rapture.

His humanity.

Little things like that.]

I'm not letting go... okay?

[ He finds Jack's hand and takes hold of it while the other moves to cup the side of his face, thumb trailing over his cheek. He can see how his eyes hesitate, knows that he's fighting the good fight and even still it tries to overtake him. ]

... Want to go home?

[Home.

Yes.

He wants to go home.

When did the house go from being "the house" to being "home?" Jack's not sure, and he doesn't really care. It's home now. And he wants to go back. Paris is lovely, but it's too unfamiliar, and he's exhausted, and he can't put up with this much longer.

He squeezes Isaac's hand and nods slightly. Don't let go. Let's go home. Don't let go. Let's go home.]

[ Isaac isn't so sure when the house gained some kind of "home" stature. Maybe in its warmth, or its contents... the people. The person. He presses a kiss to Jack's lips briefly before nodding.

He doesn't really know where home is or where it could be in this mess, but the best way to start is to maybe head back to the tower and go from there. He squeezes Jack's hand back and begins guiding him back. ]

[Jack follows a step behind, letting himself be led by Isaac because he doesn't have the energy he did when they arrived. He doesn't know if he'll be able to actually sleep when they get back, but he really hopes he will because he's ready for it now.]

[ The snow falls down a bit thicker now, enormous clumps from the dark sky and it crunches beneath their boots. The city feels almost silent, as if it's fading, and for a moment, Isaac hesitates, looks over to see a young woman. She walks up to them very quietly and holds out a card, which he takes--a little startled.

She leaves as quickly as she came and Isaac looks at it, turns it over in his hand.

Hm. ]

[Jack watches from behind Isaac's shoulder, staring at the young woman, his anxiety and panic starting to rise again.

Why is she approaching them what is she doing what is she giving Isaac...

But then she's gone, and they're left alone again, and Jack breathes deep, inhale, exhale, and leans over Isaac's shoulder to peek at what she gave him.

Whatcha got, Isaac.]

[ Isaac turns the card up to Jack, smiles a little. ]

Souvenir, s'pose.

[ He holds it out to him--want a closer look? ]

[He takes it in his free hand, frowns at it slightly.

It's... nice. Strange that a random lady would give it to them, complete strangers in the middle of the night.

But it's nice. He can't really complain, and it's just a card, not a bomb or anything. There's no reason to panic. None at all.]

No harm in keeping it.

[ He offers Jack a smile, leading him along the street. The change is gradual, something he doesn't quite notice until the street lights begin to look familiar and the noises of the city around them begin to truly fade into the silence of a quiet neighborhood. ]

[There's no line, no border to be crossed, so Jack doesn't quite notice the change either. At this point, he's tired enough so that even if there were a line to be crossed between Paris and home somewhere, it's entirely possible Jack wouldn't notice it.

But he notices the quiet, and appreciates it more than he realized he would. He looks around at the dark, familiar streets, and starts to feel better. He liked Paris, it was quite nice, but there's a great deal of comfort to be had in walking safe, familiar ground.]

[ Isaac tips his head a bit, nudges Jack's cheek with his lips in a soft kiss. Almost home. He recognizes the houses as they pass, the familiar steps as he makes a turn to... well, to their house, digging the keys from his pocket and unlocking the door.

The chill in the air is starting to get to him, and Isaac is more than happy to be home. ]

[He smiles at the kiss a little, leans into it gently, and is extremely grateful to trudge up to the front door, pulling Isaac inside to the warm house as soon as he gets the door open.

It's dark and silent and Jack lets out a long, slow breath, visibly relaxing.]

[ Isaac follows in easily, nudging the door shut behind him and tossing the keys onto the small table by the door. For a moment, he watches Jack, hears the slow breath he lets out and smiles.

Home.

They're home.

As he pulls off his coat and the rest of the winter clothing, he drapes it over the couch and walks over to Jack, gently settling a hand on his back. ]

[He's already taken off his own coat and gloves and hat, and is about to take off the scarf when he feels Isaac's hand on his back. He pauses, then turns around to face him.

For a moment he just looks at Isaac in the darkness, then he steps forward to close the distance and wraps his arms around him, hugging him tightly and burying his face in Isaac's shoulder.

Home is good, Isaac is better. But Jack still can't shake the haunting feeling of being inhuman, being monstrous, being other that's settled deep inside.]

[ Isaac isn't surprised by the hug, not after what happened. He wraps his arms around him, hands against Jack's back as he rubs slowly up and down along his spine. ]

Nice to be home, huh?

[ He squeezes Jack tightly for a moment in the hug. ]

[Jack nods into Isaac's shoulder, breathing him in as he tries to settle himself down.

...it's not that he's anxious, he just has dark thoughts. He'll sleep, most likely, but it won't be peaceful. He can tell.

But he sighs and lets go, taking off his scarf and kicking off his boots.]

[ Isaac toes off his own boots as well, a hand resting low on Jack's back, just steady, a message to say "I'm here" as he guides them back to the bedroom.

Sleep won't be easy for Jack, but he'll be there if it gets rough. ]

[He appreciates Isaac's nearness, his silent reassurance of presence and comfort. It helps.

He takes off his clothes, not particularly caring where they land. He'll clean it up tomorrow. For now, he just climbs into bed, pulling the blankets up and looking for Isaac.]

[ Isaac shrugs out of his clothing easily enough, makes it quick as he climbs into bed. His weight brings the mattress to dip slightly as it always does.

Sliding under the blankets he shifts, curling an arm around Jack just slightly, pulling him close. ]

[Jack takes a deep, slow breath as he adjusts, moving closer to Isaac's warmth and stability. He listens for his breathing, his heartbeat, and closes his eyes as he slowly matches both.

He's exhausted, but the events of the night can't be forgotten, even with Isaac's arm around him. Still, he can feel his body falling asleep even as his mind whispers.

In the end, he's not sure which is worse, the insomnia or the nightmares.]

[ He closes his eyes, his hand gently rubbing Jack's shoulder until sleep claims him lightly.

Jack has had nightmares before, Isaac has had his own fair share, so he knows when Jack is dreaming and when those dreams are not so pleasant. Fingers in his hair, there's nothing to do but wait. ]

[Tonight the nightmares creep in slowly. It starts simply, a Little Sister taking him by the hand and leading him with a smile as she chatters about Angels and calls him Mr. B.

They walk by windows out on the ocean, and he sees his reflection. He's a Big Daddy.

Of course he is.

And then there's Frank Fontaine, speaking like Atlas, speaking like himself, oscillating between voices as he shouts at him.

You can't go back, boyo! Not from something like this!

And then Andrew Ryan...

You were my greatest disappointment.

And then Tenenbaum, looking so sad...

What have we done... what have we done?

And they speak together and apart and they repeat themselves and their words weave together in a frightening cacophony and he can't listen to it, he's fallen to the floor and his head is so heavy, so heavy, and the Little Sister is standing by him, crying, Mr. B! Mr. B! and he can't get up to help her, he can only moan, a sound that makes its way out of his throat, a low groan that shakes him, but he can't wake up, he can't lift himself off the ground, he's sinking, sinking, and the voices are bearing down on him, burying him.]

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